Well, what do you know - here I sit -big smile on my face - blogging to you live from the big ATL. Wow! Home again at last. Good folks, fine friends and from what I can tell....prime srping weather with a couple of scattered showers (oh, how I've missed the rain).

After a much needed hiatus from writing daily mental thoughts of note, I come back - - -and hopefully in full force. For about a month be prepared to have this blog read as an "emotional tampon"...cause I'm about to bleed all over it...and pray to greater power that something with substance is here to soak it up.

EXPECTATIONS 101:
To think that I'm sitting here at work, emotionally numb to everything that surrounds me, should be no new feeling after the recent events that coincide with a not-so-civil detachment of someone you had high hopes of spending your life with. But when you fail to approach a relationship without any expectations, your bound to find yourself very unhappy after the continual let down (or as you see it, should be) of that person's expected potential. NOTE TO SELF #1: must always remember - no expectations=not let downs.

PERCEPTION vs. REALITY:
The perception that one can talk about how they want things to be different/change are one thing. But the reality of their actions negate any verbal promise to themselves (and their supportive other half) for a better standard "code of conduct" in a relationship.
Perception, is that strong communication is integral to a successful relationship. Reality, is that strong communication is integral to the success of a relationship.

"the best way to get over one man, is get under another"
B.F.B. - 2000

Well it's been well over a month and the fans are beignning to stalk me for more material. Sorry for the delay, but you know how times can get when spending your time with nothing more than "tripped the light fantastic" in your palm and that "field of drems" burnedby a recent forrest fire.

At last time of blog-excerpt I was swallowed in the midst of SuperBowl madness ans in the mighty grips of stress itself..alas, there's drugs for that. Right? Maybe and maybe not.....but you put yourself inmy shoes and see how asy it is.

And then my next saga continues....North and the South - the trilogy.

I did decide after the inspiration for you that a book would probably be in line. "Two Blocks Off Normal - a parody of sketch". Much to my chagrin the other possible titl for my book" Trailerpark Debutante, you are not!" has already been published. Miracles never cease!

Next Subject: Safe space travel
When does the learning curve plateau NASA?

Worthy notes of tunage:
Paris Lounge - 2 CD set
Space (club in Ibiza) - Summer 2002 - DJ Reche and Seb Fontaine
Hotel Costes Volume 2 and 3
Seb Fontaine - Live in Ibiza - produced by Radio 1 - London

Deep Dish - Live at Renaissance, Ibiza - produced by Radio 1 - London

Well, Hell!
The new Year has come and gone without much hype, self-abuse, drug abuse, spousal abuse or sympathy. Damn,.... kinda glad I almost slept through it all.

On the up and up ( I am). Today we make decisions as to whether we pull-out (not a method of birth control) or forge through some last minute Super Bowl Bullshit -- which is exactly what it is. Low grade minority goes NFL party promoter will just NOT wash with me sistah. So, you best be gettin' ya "benjamins" in line for me or else there's a blank stage for your *%#$@ ass! I feel as though I'm gravitating to be more like you.

I'm going to have but ONE MORE cup of coffee. Should this not due the trick, I'm leaving work and going back to bed.

blogger.com

one word.com

Imagine my surprise while I peruse through a gay rag (entitled, nonetheless - CYBERSOCKET) only for my bloodshot eyes to rest on an Atlantan blogger....these fags! I tell ya. Nevah evah suprise me....

...let m get a "shout-out" to my peeps in the homeland, cause I know that's where you are.....like the back of my callused left hand.

Wow - just to think if I'd procrastinated just two more days in blogging I could have reached an all time blog hiatus of a full month. Geez, mistah!

The weekend was one filled with questions simliar, but not limited to, "what do we now", "so, you bored?", "um...do you wanna get out and just ride around?", "whatcha wanna do today?". I'm here to testify to you folks that Rilla and I were a bored couple of gay homosexuals this weekend (aside from our need to hear Miss Q-Liquor's daily affirmation). No drugs, no cares and definitely no agenda - either hidden or obvious. We did, however, score a great tree over at Albertsons in North Park (transitional gayborhood #1) - proceeded to take it home, wrestle with last years tree stand through an entire bottle of Petite Syrah, venture to Rite-Aid (with said tree hanging over third story rail - -as to balance it) buy new stand (and bottle of wine), drill hole in trunk (as any good boy scout would know) and "fix it" so that it would stand completely straight in it's stand. Which it did - only becuase I invested in (yet another) state of the art (patent pending) self-correcting (as if) tree stand. Yeah baby!
Not until Monday did we break out the ornaments. Neighbor came over (with bottle of Petite Syrah in hand - -we had been wine shopping at the same time the other night, FYI) and we slung some cheer around our crib. Of course the ficus underplanted with maiden hair fern (which blocked folks from seeing directly into our unit) had to be placed somewhere else in the complex - - that was issue #1. Soon be solved by it's new and improved re-location to the elevator landing on floor #3 - for maximum winter light exposure, ya'll -- those bithces are finicky things, trust...................
..........oh yeah, back to the decorating. Well, it was fun - Andrew was trying to pair up some "fierce" (can ornaments be that?) fuscia metallic globes with silver polka-dots as ear bobs. Since he was going to "drag"on the Christmas spirit coming soon. NICE - I only thought you and you did that sort of things to holiday icons related to religious holiday, Easter anyone?

It's 66 degrees and fucking lovely....how you durrin?

...73 degrees and sunny...
The above little title makes me snicker inside, just knowing that yesterday I was bitching about the rain. Hee Hee. Sucks to live here!

Things that make you go hmmm?: (and yes this is a list!)

- How my co-worker (recovering speed freak) is able to replace her habit with 16 cups of coffee a day and not manage to blink once.
- How my boss can be on the verge of bankruptcy, trade in the Mercedes (good first call) and then purchase a brand new Ford F150.
- Why my boss's wife hair style gets more "butch" by the cut.
- Why above mentioned wife is now having us call her "Nan" rather than Nancy.
- Why my husband spends more time on his orchids than he does on me? Jealous? umm, yeah
- Why are the orchids being held ransom until Shawn gets sufficient attention?

The sounds of Hotel Costes are blaring through the office. I've only indulged in two cigarettes today. I've eaten left-over spaghetti for lunch and now have heartburn (why didn't that happen last night when I ate it the first time). And tonight will be the first night at our new gym. And new gym = new people. And new people mean more possiblities to find people with larger boats and European vacation homes.



-

rain, rain, go away
well, we have begun the rainy season here in the land of the perma tan and ever so sunny sky. Lasting all of a collective three days, it's just not enough to satisfy my precipitational desires. A, #1, people here have no idea what precipitaion is, much less spell it, much less drive in it. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. I want thunderstorms dammmmit. Lightning, crazy sex, thunderbolt storms - not this dreary, "I just moved to Seattle"- style drizzly wimpy rain!!!! Geez - what's a guy have to do to get a decent storm these days?

Usually Fall drives me to the ever-so-expanding CD closet (for which I need another rack) and finds me collectively gathering all the Sara McLachland CDs that arent too terribly scratched, and playing them repetively until the walls echo her lyrics. Whereas this Fall is no diferent from any of the rest (Sara is blaring as we speak) - I'm really longing to walk down the streets and hear the leaves rushing past me as I stroll through the neighborhoods. Alas, instead, I find myself (Rilla in tow) on the bikes whizzing through cul de sacs on a 22 mile Sunday bike ride - in 73 dregree weather. What the FUCK? Whereas I'm not complaining - I do think I'm going through some sort of non-menopausal season deprivation here. Hmm - maybe it's time to fly to Nantucket for the weekend!

Saturday night was a calm one (depsite the fact that we have 4 untouched hits of X in the mirrored box), spent with David, watching movies and getting baked. Ah, to order pizza in the rain. I would love to tell you all what we watched (it was hilariously entertaining) but I seem to have forgotten. Imagine

(my) angel
spend all your time waiting, for that second chance
for a break that would it make it okay.
there's always some reason
to feel no good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day.
i need some distraction, oh a beautiful release.
memories seep from my vein.
and empty oh weightless and maybe,
i'll find some peace tonight.

In the arms of the angel, far away from here,
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel.
you are pulled for the wreckage
of your silent revelry,
your in the arms of an angel
my you find some comfort here.

so tired of this straight line
where everywhere you turn,
there are vultures and thieves at your back.
the storm keeps on twisting.
keep on building the lies
but you make up for all that you lack.
it don't make no difference,
to escape this one last time,
it's easier to believe.
in this sweet madnesss,
oh this glorious sadness
it brings me to my knees.

In the arms of the angel far away from here,
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel.
you are pulled for the wreckage
of your silent revelry,
your in the arms of an angel
my you find some comfort here.

- s.mcclachlan.

on average I drink 2.5 - 3.0 gallons of filtered water a day.....I also pee about an average of 10 times per day....

just another random thought brought to you my a right-brained person.

Can I just say that store will never be the same.
http://notyournomalleo.blogspot.com

Training Heels
There's nothing more touching than taking a child to buy his or her first new bicycle. Well, WAIT! There IS REALLY something more that pulls on the heart strings than that. Taking your BF to buy his first dress, heels, wig, nails, and fishnets - sure beats the hell out of any Normal Rockwell scene I've seen painted. Yes, Yes - just when I think I'm about to give up all hope and hang up those hooker heels (like I'm a retired boxer, hanging up his gloves) Rilla throws me a curve ball. After not really having such a great morning, he calls me and asks where our neighbor can purchase plus size footwear. Off the cuff I immediately spew out Pic n' Pay or Payless Shoes and with ease throw out the two nearest locations. WHY IS IT THAT I KNOW THESE THINGS. Long story, short - they end up at Ross (dress for less, whew knew?) Rilla purchases his first set of training heels. I must say the're much trendier than my first. A large substantial heel ( I like to refer to that style as "withcy-poo-pump", a broad satin strap just past the toe area, an ankle strap that actually may work, and smart rhinestone encrusted buckles make for a fierce shoe ensemble.

From there, it was all downhill. We find oursleves at Buffalo Breath Costumes in Old Towne ( with 5,000 other last minute shoppers) looking at go-go suits and french maid outfits - with the rest of San Diego's female populations, mind you. We snag coordinating White and Black super afro wigs and decide then and there, that we must buy the matching fishnets, and not chance on them being sold out if we look elsewhere. THE FUN HAS BEGUN. From there, it's back to Supergaydom (that would be Hillcrest) we hit two vintage stores - the first was a psuedo bomb, but the second was a bang. We will walk in, make no bones about it, and go right for the women's section. Let's see....there's small, medium, and big girl. WE snag dresses and find a dressing room. Almost on cue - we both come out and scream - "It's PERFECT". All the time, not realizing the gaggle of hetero's that we're squeezing themselves into last years pirate maiden costumes amongst us. Well of course they're jaws all drop when we pop out from behind the changing curtain, squeal in delight at how cute the other one looks, and immediatley start giving the other tailoring advice about the June Clever collar "that just MUST go" and how easy it will be to put a hem in that fabric. COMPLETELY IN A WORLD ALL OF OUR OWN.

Surely I have not found myself on the eve of Day of the Dead with nothing to wear. Sad to say, but it's true. I've got shoes, mind you. Hooker heels at that. But for strange reasons unknown, even to myself, I have little or no desire to don a wig or a stylish new pair of ghetto fishnets. Strange behavior for one that prides himself in innovative "get-ups" and not-so-comfy, yet very controversial costumery. I think I'm depressed.GRRRRRRRRR.

I NEED TO "snap out of it"

Quite possibly a fresh set of nails and "fierce" skirt could do just that.
http://notyournormalleo.blogspot.com